How to Navigate Thanksgiving (and the Holidays) With Food Allergies

With the holiday season approaching, I thought it would be helpful to share an episode today about how to handle things with the holidays, with Thanksgiving being our next holiday in the United States. I’m going to talk about Thanksgiving and how to navigate a holiday that centers around food when food is the thing that can hurt you.

For many people with food allergies, the hardest part isn’t actually the biology. It’s the social piece — the explaining, the apologizing, the wondering, the “Are you sure you just can’t pick the nuts off of this?” frustration. All of it. So this episode is here to help you enter Thanksgiving (and this applies to Christmas, Hanukkah, New Year’s, or any food-centered holiday). I want you feeling prepared, confident, less stressed, and equipped with actual strategies that work in real houses with real families — with no guilt, no shame, no fear, no embarrassment. Just education, empowerment, and boundaries that don’t feel like barbed wire.

Let’s dive in.

Why Holidays Are So Hard With Food Allergies

Food is identity.

Food is a love language.

Food is tradition.

Food is memories.

So when someone can’t eat something, families may interpret it as rejection or simply not understand why you “won’t just have a little.” Because allergies are invisible, boundaries get tested — especially with older generations who didn’t deal with food allergies the way we do now.

Remember:

Your allergy isn’t the problem.

The lack of understanding around it is.

This episode is about helping you feel empowered, and helping others feel educated.

1. Reach Out Early (Not the Night Before)

Say something like:

“Hey, I’d love for us to figure out a food plan together so we can all enjoy the meal safely.”

And then:

Offer solutions, not just restrictions.

Instead of a list of “I can’t have…,” try:

• Bring one or two safe dishes.
• Offer simple swaps.
• “We can use oat milk instead of cow’s milk.”

Use neutral language:

“I need to stay away from X because my body reacts to it.”

Set the overall tone:

“I’m so excited to be together. I might not be able to eat everything on the table, but the company matters way more than matching plates.”

Warm, confident, clear. No apology needed.

2. Your Plate Strategy (Eat Safely Without Drawing Attention)

• Eat a snack beforehand so you’re not starving.
• Survey the table before you serve.
• Plate your own dish first — it sets a social tone.
• If you’re unsure, don’t risk it.

A simple line:

“Thanks for checking — I just stick to foods I know are safe for me.”

Again, calm and simple.

3. When Someone Gets Weird About It (And Someone Will)

Here are non-dramatic, non-defensive scripts that work:

Option A:

“I appreciate the invite to try it — I’m just going to pass this time. Thank you.”

Option B:

“This isn’t about preference. My immune system reacts, and eating this way keeps me safe.”

Option C:

“It’s not really about the food — I just want to enjoy today and feel well.”

Short. Kind. Clear. Move on.

4. If You Have Toddlers or Younger Kids

Bring safe versions of what others are having.

Model calm confidence. Not fear.

Teach them one line:

“I only eat the food my grown-up gives me.”

5. Create Joy on Purpose

Holidays aren’t only about food — even though food is everywhere.

• Create a new tradition.
• Start a new safe dish everyone enjoys.
• Focus on games, stories, walks, music.
• Shift the emotional energy off the “can’t haves.”

Because food isn’t the meaning of the holiday.

6. You Are Not the Burden

You deserve:

• to be safe
• to be heard
• to be included
• to enjoy holidays without fear or shame

When you shift from:

“I can’t…” → “I choose…”

the whole room shifts with you.

You become the teacher.

You model calm confidence.

You show others how to love you — or your child — well.

And that is real healing at the table.

Final Thoughts: Your Immune Edit for the Holidays

• Plan early.
• Communicate clearly.
• Stay calm.
• Focus on what you can do.
• Prioritize relationships over matching plates.

Thanksgiving doesn’t have to feel like tiptoeing through a kitchen. With clarity and confidence, you can enjoy the holidays safely — and help others understand you better in the process.

I’d love to hear your experiences, tips, and what has worked for you. Share in the comments or on Instagram — it helps others more than you know.

Until next time, stay safe and enjoy this holiday season with confidence and peace.

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